Ratrace
by idyllic nocturne
Summary: What's going on? Why are Beka, Rosto, and Aniki racing again Kel, Dom, and Neal? Who are those new Yamanis? Is someone stalking Daine again? Life is odd like that, I suppose.
1. Yes, I do enjoy torturing Rosto

**i·dyl·lic **adj

_1. serenely beautiful, untroubled, and happy_

_2. like an idyll, especially in having a simple, unspoiled, and especially rural charm_

**noc·turne **n

_1. a musical composition, especially for the piano, that suggests a tranquil, dreamy mood._

_2. a painting of a night scene_

Encarta® World English Dictionary © 1999 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved. Developed for Microsoft by Bloomsbury Publishing Plc.

Disclaimed!!

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Alanna sighed once more and rested her head on her husband's shoulder. "Well then, what do you propose we do? It's been months since we've done something and I'm _bored_."

George chuckled slightly and laced his fingers with hers. "You're always bored, lass." He turned to Raoul. "Fickle as a cat, this one is. Perhaps I should buy her a toy mouse to keep her attention, if only for a few moments."

As the short bout of laughter in the room died down, Jon's eyes lit up. "I have an idea."

- - -

She was trying hard to see the good in this situation. They were driving in her truck, in the middle of nowhere (at least nowhere she knew or had ever desired to be), the ride seemed more like some stupid stunt on TV with ever passing second with all of the horrible driving that was going on, and he was _singing._

"_Oh, you can watch me walk if you want to, want to. I betcha want me back now, don't you, don't you? I'm about to show you just how missin'_—hey! You turned it off!"

"So why are we doing this again?" Neal glanced at her, before looking back at the road.

"_Because_, Keladry, it is customary for at least a few members of a family to meet when at a family reunion." Because he was concentrating on his driving and on the road, Neal missed the glare that she shot him.

"But why am _I_ doing this? The only person I know in your family is you yourself." The truck swerved, almost running into the other lane. "Neal, I swear, if you don't improve your driving in the next second, I will personally turn this truck around and force you to go to that gas station we saw back there and spend the whole day chatting with the woman behind the counter."

He cringed. Not only was the service station covered in grime and crawling with every possible disease imaginable, the cashier seemed _extremely_ lonely. As he tried to pay, she somehow kept him at the counter for seven minutes, and had attempted to flirt the entire time.

"Yes, Mother," he mumbled, before jerking the truck to a hard right then left, barely avoiding a crash with a speed limit sign. "And you're coming because my loving father, when he informed me that I was coming to this idiotic thing, specifically said that I was to bring a lady friend."

"But we're not dating. And we're definitely not engaged."

"You must have missed the wedding then, dear. A pity; the ceremony was exquisite. Anyway, you're the only girl that wouldn't get the wrong idea."

Kel rolled her eyes. "Uh huh, sure. I'll bet you asked every girl, single or not, in the county before even considering your best friend."

He gave her a disdainful look and succeeded in appearing superior until he broke down and said, "Aw, so what if I did?"

A plastic grocery bag sat on the road. Neal tried to veer left, then right to miss it. Kel screamed as the truck went off the road and headed towards a ditch. At the last moment, he brought it back onto the road. "Whoops. Sorry, thought it was a dog. Anyway, the important thing is that _someone_, you, said yes." Kel barely managed to nod.

"Neal," she said when she was finally able to catch her breath, "when this is over, I am going to kill you ten times over, drive you over with a lawn mower, and kill you ten more times." He simply nodded and turned the music back on.

They drove into town, and ten bootlegger's turns later, Kel and Neal stared up at a large house on a hill.

"Huh. It seems smaller than it did last time." Kel gaped at him. The house was a _mansion_, very different from the one-story ranch house she grew up in. "Well, c'mon Kel. Let's go."

- - -

Ug. What had woken him up? Whatever it was, he was going to kill it. A ringing. Ringing…

The telephone.

Shit.

"Aniki, can you get that?" he called.

"Go to hell." Was she _still_ mad about that?

"C'mon, I was asleep! You know not to ask me things while I'm asleep."

"It was four in the fucking afternoon! Why the hell would you still be asleep?" Yup. She was still mad.

"Cooper?"

"She's out back gardening. Get off your lazy ass and get it yourself!" Still groggy, Rosto reached over to the nightstand and lifted the phone.

"Hello?"

"Who is this?" The voice was sharp, piercing, demanding, and _loud_.

"Rosto." If this woman was going to wake him up, she wasn't going to get eloquent answers.

"I must have the wrong number. Goodbye." It went off with a click.

"Right," he said, staring at the phone. He was about to set it back down when it rang again. "Hello?"

"Who is this?" It was the same woman.

"Rosto." Before she could respond, he added, "Do you need Aniki or Beka?"

"Rebakah, please." He had no idea that the word "please" could convey such disdain.

"Sure. She's out back, lemme go get her." He slowly got to his feet. Why the hell did they put phones in everyone's rooms? It had seemed like a good idea at the time, but now it just seemed like a waste of needed money. And, of course, it turned him into the freaking butler.

Rosto walked out to the garden, where a dirt-covered Beka was weeding. "Cooper. Phone."

She looked up, and stared at him. Just stared. Damn, those eyes were freaky in the morning light. Finally, she sighed. "Step closer." As soon as he did, she wiped mud off of her hands onto his new white tee-shirt.

Shit.

Today was not his day, or maybe the fates were simply trying to have some fun. Oh, yeah, big fun, loads of laughs.

"Yeah? Oh, Mrs. Haryse, hello. No ma'am, Rosto—he's just the, ah, neighbor. Yes, ma'am. No, ma'am. N—Thank you, ma'am." He watched her with interest. Her happy mood seemed to be diminishing with every passing second. "I—yes. I'll be sure to do so, ma'am." She handed the phone back.

"Anything interesting?"

"No." Delightful. She seemed to be mad at him, too. Then again, he mused, she always seemed to be mad at him about something. And he did try to kiss her again not even twelve hours ago.

Rosto smiled sweetly. "Go take a shower, then, love. You're covered head to toe in mud, and very soon you will reek." She cursed at him on her way inside and kicked him in the shins.

Lovely, just lovely.

-.-.-.-


	2. Enter Dom, Yamanis, and plot!

Kel looked around for what felt like, and probably was, the thousandth time. Neal had disappeared, and so far only his father had bothered to speak with her. Not that "Nice to meet you" and "It's so good to see that my son can find suitable company once in a blue moon," was a conversation worth recording for generations to come.

Ring around the rosie…

Oh, gods. She was going crazy.

"Pst." And now she was hearing things, too. Wonderful.

"Hey, over here!" Kel looked around warily. There. A hand waving from the bushes. She shrugged and walked over to it.

"Yes?" The hand grabbed her arm, and pulled her behind the plants to land on top of the supposed owner of the hand.

The very _cute_ supposed owner of the hand.

He helped her off of him and peeked out of the bushes. "Good, I don't think anyone saw you." He faced her with a bright grin, and Kel couldn't help but smile slightly as well. "Now then. I suppose a gentleman would introduce himself. The name's Masbolle, Dom Masbolle."

Even though Dom had dark hair and blue eyes, he still was clearly a relative of Neal's. They both had the same clever impression about them, the same twinkle of mischief in their eyes. Okay, and they shared the same nose.

"So?" Dom prompted when she only stared at him. "What's your name? You're obviously not a relative or else you would have had the common sense to stay away."

She smiled. "I'm Kel. The only reason I'm here is because _someone_ guilted me into coming." Kel stole a look through the bushes herself. "If you knew better than to come, then why didn't _you_ stay away?"

He grimaced. "My uncle and cousin, who I am currently trying to avoid, forced me to. Supposedly, they took the saying 'misery loves company' to heart."

"So you weren't forced to bring anyone? Neal had made it sound like everyone was bringing someone."

Dom snorted. "That's just like my cousin Meathead, conning a poor, innocent girl into coming here with him. Did he say this was a funeral for some decrepit grandparent and he just _had_ to have your shoulder to cry on?"

"No, I—Meathead? How did you come up with that name?" It didn't seem to fit Neal, but then again, it _was_ Neal.

Dom eyed the bushes warily. "Let's talk more somewhere safe. Better yet, let's grab the idiot and go someplace not booby-trapped with well-wishing aunties."

Without waiting for a response, he grabbed her hand yet again and led her to an even bigger bush where, lo and behold, sat a humming Neal.

"Really, Meathead, hiding in the bushes? How old are you— ten?" The cousins glared at one another and bickered whilst Kel looked on, not sure whether to be apprehensive, confused, or amused. This family was downright _weird_. Sure, all families had their quirks, but _really_!

A quick peek out of the greenery showed more than a few glances aimed in their general direction. "Guys, people starting to look at our bush strangely." They continued to squabble. "Guys?" Nope.

Neal's father's head appeared. "Boys, if you're going to hide like children, please refrain from doing so in the shrubbery! You know how much Lily loves her plants, and I refuse to come to your aide when she finds out what you've done to them." Neal and Dom stood, dragging Kel up with them.

"Yes, Uncle. If anyone needs us, we'll be far, far away. Probably near Mars."

"All right. Now get out of there, you three look foolish just standing there in a bush."

-.-.-.-.-

"Um, guys? Can we please get this blindfold off of me?" Beka had decided three minutes after being blindfolded, hand tied, and being put in the backseat of a car that she needed some new friends.

"Nope," Aniki said cheerfully. "We're taking you on a trip for your birthday! Don't worry, I packed for you. I'm pretty sure I even threw some clothes in." Beka needed some new friends _fast_.

"Besides, I hate to break it to you, Cooper, but you live a dull life. It's as if all you live for is your job and your plants."

"Go to hell, Rosto." What was with him lately? If Rosto didn't shut up soon, he'd quickly be lying on the side of the road, her hands tied or not. It was too bad Aniki had already forgiven him for earlier. It would have been so much easier with her help.

"Love you too."

"So, anyway, I was thinking that we drive out and gamble a little. You know, go to a city where modesty's not a word in their vocabulary."

"What about that show Cooper's been wanting to see? The one inspired by that odd satire group?"

"Brilliant. Let's add it to the list."

Well, it didn't look like they would be untying her any time soon. Beka didn't _think_ that she could survive a jump onto the road, but maybe there was another way she could escape.

"Can we at least stop for some food? You kidnapped me before I could have lunch." And then she would run as far away from these blonde lunatics as possible.

"Why not? Rosto, there's a place up ahead, turn there."

-.-.-.-.-

Yuki sighed. This had to be the worst bachelorette party _ever_. The bride-to-be was crying in the back seat, and the only other bridesmaid was rather…well…

Haname seemed to have a stick up her ass 24/7.

Yuki reached back and patted the sobbing girl on the knee. "Shinko, you'll be fine, don't worry.

Hyperventilating, Shinko reached up and grabbed ahold of Yuki's arm. Yuki _tried_ not to wince, but the girl had a grip like iron!

"But—but I can't _do _this! I don't even know Roald! We've only e-mailed each other a few times! I barely know his likes, his dislikes. I need more time, I need—"

"Shinkokami," Haname said in a stern voice, "I'm taking this exit so that we can eat. When we reach the restaurant, I fully expect you to be fit enough to be seen in public. Am I making myself clear?"

Somehow, through the gasps, Shinko was able to manage a small "Yes." Miraculously, by the time they pulled into a diner's parking lot, she seemed to be fully recovered from her outburst. Maybe Haname wasn't so bad after all.

Yeah, right. And Roald would be Prince Charming and pigs would fly.

-.-.-.-.-


End file.
